OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
