What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize