Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
