what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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