Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize