I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
