$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
