this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
