You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
