You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
