he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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