Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
