It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
