you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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