Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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