I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I will pee on everything he values.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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