Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
