Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I understand Curling. That high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
