with your own penis?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
