OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
