normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
