I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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