We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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