Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
