Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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