I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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