I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize