Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We're too hungover to prance.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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