Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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