i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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