: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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