My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
