Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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