You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
