Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize