his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
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Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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