Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
