Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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