seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
