am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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