Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize