FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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