Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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