I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
