That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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