We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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