I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
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God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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