Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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