Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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