I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
