he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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