Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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