He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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