your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
