I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize