How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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