so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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