Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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