so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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