Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
